Kyshera

I know I’m not the most ‘down with the kids’ guy in the world, mainly because :

1) I’m not a kid and 2) I make a conserted effort to avoid as much mainstream news & ‘culture’ as I can, but even I have become increasingly aware of a certain social & cultural ill that is Emo music.

I know I’m a late starter on this, (I normally am) but having begun extensive research into this latest trend, I have become very concerned. Mass marketed trends created by big business to get ever more of your hard earned cash from you in exchange for manufactured, image based, disposable, short term, cheaply created crap that you dont need have always been around – consider Mods, Rockers, Metalers, Hippies, Trendies, Grungers, Goths, Brit Poppers, Indie girl boys, Punks, Ravers, Socialists, Commmunists, Anarchists, Capitalists etc etc etc. Anytime someone comes up with something unique & individual, big business buys it up, creates thousands of little cheap clones & rams it down your throat until the next thing comes along. Think of the people you know now that are strutting around in skinny jeans, studded belts, their mums makeup & Gabrielles hair-do – who only a few years ago might have been posturing around like Liam Gallagher or wearing ripped up cardigans ala Kurt Cobain. The billionaire masters of this planet, love you – for you rely on them to tell you how to dress, what to listen to, what to think & how to behave (in exchange for your money of course).

However, I think the current trend is particularly disturbing, living as I do, in South Wales – ‘dynasty of the Emo’. I find it quite baffling watching macho, meat head, testosterone fuelled, tattooed rugby fans, full of welsh patriotism mincing around in pink pumps, sprayed on jeans hanging round their arse, makeup on & talking/singing in an accent that can only be described as…well, lets just say more California than Rhondda Cynon Taff! And I dont know who’s responsible for that hair-do but it looks girly, sort it out – if there was one guy walking around like it, he would just have an individual sense of identity but theres millions of you fuckers & you all look the same – might you be the ‘real’ trendies? PR companies know that most people have no identity of their own & long to just be part of a ‘gang’ & when you’re straightening your hair every morning & shouting at your mum ‘cos she ain’t ironed your jeans yet, you’re making a public confession that these companies are right about you.

I haven’t mentioned the music because the music is irrelevant – these bands could be playing a one string banjo out of time & out of tune (many of them sound like they are) but as long as they’ve got a distinct dress code & as long as ‘everyone else’ is doing it, you’ll follow suit – every successful musical trend has its own distinct dress code (think again of those Hippies & Punks), what does that tell you? Do you really care about the music or do you just want to fit in & conform? You will all prove me right in about 2 years time when you’re all still dressed the same as eachother, albeit in whatever trend is being sold to you then & when Emo is just a forgotten embarrassment.

So, who cares? Why does it matter? Firstly, I DONT care because I’m not a part of it & I enjoy observing the lengths that fickle, popularity seeking people will go to be part of a scene. But unfortunately because of people like you, the standard of culture in this country has dropped to an all time low – because you will buy into ANYTHING that you’re told to, we are now living in a ‘modern’ age where a home video camera recording other fickle, popularity seeking chumps is called a TV programme, where the charts are filled with bands that all sound the same, look the same & will all die out the same, where we form our views & opinions based on statements written by paid PR consultants & released through the mainstream media & where the single biggest ambition among people in the country is just to be famous. We are now one big skinny jean wearing, american talking, big brother watching, emo listening, news believing blob where no-one is just a ‘person’ anymore & no-one aspires to say or create anything of any individuality or long term worth.

Its your world & the poor state of it is a reflection of the poor state of the people in it – whos gonna be the first to step forward & dare to be different?

Kyshera would like to issue the following statement.

“After much discussion & debate, we, Kyshera have decided that whilst there may be many reasons for our constant lack of scenic acceptance & so called ’success’ (such as having 15 sections in a song, having essays for lyrics & a complete lack of being ‘cool’ or being part of any short term scene or trend), one of the biggest reasons could well be the absence of the word ‘the’ in our name.

We have long envied the ’success’ of bands such as The Kaiser Chiefs, The Lost Prophets, The Killers, The Strokes, The White Stripes, The Baby Shambles, The generic, talentless shite & of course, The Graduates. However, we have for a long time assumed that what actually makes these bands so damn hot is their complete unoriginality & their total conformity to whatever mass market, non-musical fashion scene is required of them by their big business owners – but we missed of course, the one simple similarity that was staring us in the face…’THE’!

So we have decided that with immediate effect, the band will from now on be trading under the name of ‘THE Kyshera’ & would like to ask all of those affiliated with band to recognise & accept this change. The Kyshera values your business & will continue producing high quality entertainment for sufferers of Attention Deficit Disorder the world over & we would like to assure you that this subtle change is purely cosmetic in keeping with the current market requirements of style over content.

So from all of us at The Kyshera, thankyou…”

Hi all! Here’s what we’ve got coming up! We broke it into 2 sections for ease of reading – cos there is quite a lot of stuff to tell!!

CARDIFF, NEWPORT etc

7th Sept – Emo Free Zone at the Meze Lounge, Newport - For one night only, a gig that will be completely free of any Emo music! We’re playing, Mr Maggs are playing (who are awesome!) and the night will be opened by a ’secret band’, oooooh! Dont miss this one, its gonna be a blinder! ALREADY HAPPENED – T’WAS MOST PLEASANT TOO…

21st Sept – Secret gig in the woods! – This is an annual event that takes place in a big tent in a secret location in the woods, kind of like Bohemian Grove but without all the wierd stuff! For those of who know what it is, we’ll see ya there! The gig will also be made into a Dvd for the rest of you! DATE CHANGED TO THE 23RD

23rd – TJ’S GIG CANCELLED, READ ABOVE.

6 Oct – Live Dvd shoot at the Salisbury in Ferndale! We’re having the gig filmed so the more of you that come & make loads of noise, the better (you might even get on the Dvd!!).

12th Oct – Callaghans, Cardiff – Again, a venue we haven’t graced in quite some time! As followers of the band know, we dont get to play Cardiff much due to us not being part of the ‘Scarf rock clique’, so come & check us out at Callaghans, you never know how long it might be till the next one!!

LONDON

9th Sept – Lark in the Park, Islington – We’re playing with a pile of other bands (8 in total!!) and we’re on last but 2 – about 9:30. Saturday night, a great venue & great value for money! We’ll see ya there then! ALSO ALREADY HAPPENED NOW, SORRY, YOU MISSED OUT!

8th Oct – Lark in the Park, Islington (again!) - 12 hour gig for Oxfam! – Basically, we start playing at 1pm and finish when we fall over. We will be playing no pre-prepared material, all music will be completely improvised & all money collected on the door will go to Oxfam. Come & show some support – well, what else you gonna do on a Sunday afternoon?

25th Oct – G LOUNGE GIG CANCELLED DUE TO BIRTHGIVING ACTIVITIES, NOT MINE.

Nice one
James