Kyshera

Kyshera – a Manifesto!

How the f**k did we get here?! What happened? It feels like we’re stuck in a time loop, like when the CD sticks & keeps playing that same nano-second of music over & over…& over & over. I guess that must just be the way we like it. Safe, familiar, no suprises, no challenges. We live in the age of mass conformity, where absolutely everything has to fit snugly into an easily identifiable little label, scene or fashion. It gives us a sense of belonging until we realise that its actually completely empty & then we all move, en mass, onto the next quick fix. A generation bombarded with constant advertising seems to have ‘internalised’ the values of the advert, where nothing has to actually be ‘real’ anymore, it just needs to feel good to pretend for a bit. The names may change, the hair-do’s may change but everything in our culture is, when you look at it, the same old shit rebranded. Like a reconstituted shit burger endlessly served up with a new garnish & of course, a new hair-do.

Is it just me or is this cultural guantanamo driving you completely out of your f**king mind aswell? I want to live in a world where I can defy categorisation, where I can be a person & not a label, where being unique, unpredictable, challenging & most of all, REAL, is celebrated. Where expressing the ’self’ in whatever the hell way you feel like, is encouraged & where being a copy cat clone of somoeone elses identity, band, philosphy or whatever is ignored as being insincere, lathargic & culturally offensive. Imagine a society in which it was genuinely ‘cool’ to be different, where it is noble to challenge & question ‘normality’ & where we dont all have to have our lifestyle, tastes & ideas dictated by the fear of ‘what other people will think’. A society like that would produce a hell of a lot more to be proud of than we can at the moment, I guarantee it.

We, Kyshera, aim to embody that spirit by being completely ‘uncool’, by never being part of any ’scene’, by being unpredictable, by questioning the world we live in & by having no obligation to anyone or anything other than the free expression of whatever the hell we like, when we like. We feel that these are values that can make our culture a more fertile, progressive & interesing place again & we invite you to join us in our quest. We dont have an ‘image’ (because we are musicians, not poster boys) & we make no promises that anything we do will ever sound like the last thing we did. We are part of no scene, we dont follow ‘leaders’ & we dont have faith in ‘icons’ – loners, freaks, geeks, outcasts, individuals & all those who aren’t scared to be themselves in this world of bland, disposable conformity, YOU are our ‘iKons’ & it is with you that we associate. iKons of the world unite – together but not as one! We consider being rejected by popular culture, the highest honour & we are proud to be in the company of the most interesting, intelligent & unique group of people there are – you, this cultures REAL icons, the iKons.

I know I’m not the most ‘down with the kids’ guy in the world, mainly because :

1) I’m not a kid and 2) I make a conserted effort to avoid as much mainstream news & ‘culture’ as I can, but even I have become increasingly aware of a certain social & cultural ill that is Emo music.

I know I’m a late starter on this, (I normally am) but having begun extensive research into this latest trend, I have become very concerned. Mass marketed trends created by big business to get ever more of your hard earned cash from you in exchange for manufactured, image based, disposable, short term, cheaply created crap that you dont need have always been around – consider Mods, Rockers, Metalers, Hippies, Trendies, Grungers, Goths, Brit Poppers, Indie girl boys, Punks, Ravers, Socialists, Commmunists, Anarchists, Capitalists etc etc etc. Anytime someone comes up with something unique & individual, big business buys it up, creates thousands of little cheap clones & rams it down your throat until the next thing comes along. Think of the people you know now that are strutting around in skinny jeans, studded belts, their mums makeup & Gabrielles hair-do – who only a few years ago might have been posturing around like Liam Gallagher or wearing ripped up cardigans ala Kurt Cobain. The billionaire masters of this planet, love you – for you rely on them to tell you how to dress, what to listen to, what to think & how to behave (in exchange for your money of course).

However, I think the current trend is particularly disturbing, living as I do, in South Wales – ‘dynasty of the Emo’. I find it quite baffling watching macho, meat head, testosterone fuelled, tattooed rugby fans, full of welsh patriotism mincing around in pink pumps, sprayed on jeans hanging round their arse, makeup on & talking/singing in an accent that can only be described as…well, lets just say more California than Rhondda Cynon Taff! And I dont know who’s responsible for that hair-do but it looks girly, sort it out – if there was one guy walking around like it, he would just have an individual sense of identity but theres millions of you fuckers & you all look the same – might you be the ‘real’ trendies? PR companies know that most people have no identity of their own & long to just be part of a ‘gang’ & when you’re straightening your hair every morning & shouting at your mum ‘cos she ain’t ironed your jeans yet, you’re making a public confession that these companies are right about you.

I haven’t mentioned the music because the music is irrelevant – these bands could be playing a one string banjo out of time & out of tune (many of them sound like they are) but as long as they’ve got a distinct dress code & as long as ‘everyone else’ is doing it, you’ll follow suit – every successful musical trend has its own distinct dress code (think again of those Hippies & Punks), what does that tell you? Do you really care about the music or do you just want to fit in & conform? You will all prove me right in about 2 years time when you’re all still dressed the same as eachother, albeit in whatever trend is being sold to you then & when Emo is just a forgotten embarrassment.

So, who cares? Why does it matter? Firstly, I DONT care because I’m not a part of it & I enjoy observing the lengths that fickle, popularity seeking people will go to be part of a scene. But unfortunately because of people like you, the standard of culture in this country has dropped to an all time low – because you will buy into ANYTHING that you’re told to, we are now living in a ‘modern’ age where a home video camera recording other fickle, popularity seeking chumps is called a TV programme, where the charts are filled with bands that all sound the same, look the same & will all die out the same, where we form our views & opinions based on statements written by paid PR consultants & released through the mainstream media & where the single biggest ambition among people in the country is just to be famous. We are now one big skinny jean wearing, american talking, big brother watching, emo listening, news believing blob where no-one is just a ‘person’ anymore & no-one aspires to say or create anything of any individuality or long term worth.

Its your world & the poor state of it is a reflection of the poor state of the people in it – whos gonna be the first to step forward & dare to be different?

Kyshera would like to issue the following statement.

“After much discussion & debate, we, Kyshera have decided that whilst there may be many reasons for our constant lack of scenic acceptance & so called ’success’ (such as having 15 sections in a song, having essays for lyrics & a complete lack of being ‘cool’ or being part of any short term scene or trend), one of the biggest reasons could well be the absence of the word ‘the’ in our name.

We have long envied the ’success’ of bands such as The Kaiser Chiefs, The Lost Prophets, The Killers, The Strokes, The White Stripes, The Baby Shambles, The generic, talentless shite & of course, The Graduates. However, we have for a long time assumed that what actually makes these bands so damn hot is their complete unoriginality & their total conformity to whatever mass market, non-musical fashion scene is required of them by their big business owners – but we missed of course, the one simple similarity that was staring us in the face…’THE’!

So we have decided that with immediate effect, the band will from now on be trading under the name of ‘THE Kyshera’ & would like to ask all of those affiliated with band to recognise & accept this change. The Kyshera values your business & will continue producing high quality entertainment for sufferers of Attention Deficit Disorder the world over & we would like to assure you that this subtle change is purely cosmetic in keeping with the current market requirements of style over content.

So from all of us at The Kyshera, thankyou…”